Chrissy Teigen she lost her son, Jack, a few weeks ago and, since then, she has dealt with the pain in a silent way, counting on the great support of her husband, John Legend.
Days after having revealed that she lost her baby during the difficult pregnancy, the 34-year-old model decided to open her heart to talk about this phase.
“I had no idea when I would be ready to write this“, she started by saying as she vented about the loss and how the kindness of the fans helped her recover, referring to how much the flowers and tickets that she received meant for her.
“After we lost Jack, I was extremely concerned about not being able to thank everyone for being so kind. I wanted to thank everyone. […] For me, the note ‘there is no need to answer’ was a real relief “, he highlighted, highlighting all the support he has received.
Recalling the difficult day on which she lost the baby, the model confessed that at a certain point “she had already conformed to what was going to happen”. “I would take the epidural and be induced to give birth to our 20-week-old son, a boy who would never have survived in my belly“, said.
“I had been at rest, in bed, for more than a month, just trying to get the boy to reach 28 weeks,” he added, explaining that this would be “safer” for the fetus.
The model said that doctors diagnosed her with detachment partial placenta. “I always had problems with plancenta. I had to give birth to Miles a month earlier because her stomache I was not getting enough food from my placenta, “he recalled.
“But this was the first detachment [da placenta]. […] In bed, I bled and bled slightly, but every day, changing my own diapers every two hours“, she shared, explaining that she was accompanied by doctors at home.
“I was still seen by doctors at home, silently, turning their negative words into positive ones, thinking that everything could still end well,” she confessed.
Then he had a “bad night” in bed, started to bleed a little more than ‘normal’. “The fluid around Jack had become too low – he could barely float. At times, I felt I was so low that if I lay on my back I could feel his arms and legs outside my belly“, said.
And after spending a few nights in the hospital, he ended up receiving the sad news. “It was time to say goodbye. He just wouldn’t survive this, and if it lasted longer, I wouldn’t“, he lamented, pointing out that he even had several blood transfusions.
“I was told it would be time to leave “, he recalled, highlighting how much he cried after that moment and how “deeply sad” he became. “Writing this made me feel pain again,” he admitted. “The oxygen was put in my nose and mouth, that was the first picture you saw,” he continued.
Chrissy she asked her mother and husband to take pictures of this moment. “I explained to a very hesitant John that he needed them and that he didn’t want to have to ask. That he just had to do it. He hated it. […] But I knew that I needed to stay with this moment forever, just as I needed to remember to kiss each other down the hall, just as I needed to remember our tears of joy after Luna and Miles were born. . I knew I needed to share this story“, wrote.
The model also said that she does not care about people who were against the fact that she photographed such a moment. “I lived, I chose to do it and, most of all, these photos are not for anyone, but for people who have experienced this or are curious enough to ask how it is. These photos are only for the people who need them. The thoughts of others do not matter to me“.
Recalling the moment when she had to give birth to her son, now lifeless, the mannequin said: “I lay there for hours, waiting for me to be told it would be time to push. Obviously, I didn’t have to dilate much, he was still She was lying on her side, changing sides every hour or so, whenever the nurse ordered. […] I opened my legs and started to turn to face John and even so, he was leaving. The doctors screamed a little and … I don’t know what to say, even now. He was out [da minha barriga]. My mom, John and I hugged [o bebé] e I say goodbyeus in particular, my mother sobbing during a prayer thai. I asked the nurses to show me their hands and feet, and I kissed him nonstop. I have no idea when I stopped. It may have lasted ten minutes or an hour“shared.
Chrissy Teigen also revealed that the baby’s ashes are in a small box and that they will be placed “on the floor of a tree“at the couple’s house.
Reflecting about what she has been feeling after this experience, the model said: “People say that an experience like this creates a hole in the heart. A hole certainly made, but that was filled with love from something I loved so much. this space. It seems full. Maybe “also” exploding, actually. I find myself crying randomly, thinking about how happy I am to have two incredibly wonderful children who fill this house with love“, vented, talking about the older children, Luna and Miles.
“I also cry when I get angry at myself for being so happy“, she added, confessing that sometimes” she forgets that she is no longer pregnant “, sometimes” she holds the belly “and is anxious when the children jump to the belly.” The clarity after those moments always makes me sad ” .
Chrissy encouraged other women who have experienced similar situations to share their story publicly, and that everyone else “be kind to those who open their hearts “. “Be kind in general, as some will not open up at all,” he said.
The model also fears that now people are not comfortable sharing moments of happiness with her. However, she guarantees: “I am surrounded by the belly of many friends intimate and I can swear, nothing makes me happier “.
“I knew I needed to say something before I could move on and get back to life, so I really thank you for allowing me to do that. Jack will be loved, explained to our children as existing in the wind, in the trees and the butterflies that they see. Thank you very much to each person who had us in mind or even sent us their love and stories. We are incredibly lucky“, he finished.
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